All alone

I have been haunted all week by an article I read about a mother and child who died in the most tragic and desperate of circumstances,  and simply were not missed or looked for by anyone. Heartbreaking  on every level and a lesson to all of us how easy it is to be swallowed up and disappear into isolation,  with no support and nobody even noticing. 

Basically, the mum had some kind of seizure and died at home. Her small son was unable to get help and eventually starved to death, being found dead clinging to his mothers decomposing body. 

The neighbours,  when questioned had little information about her, though all expressed shock and remorse at finding out what had literally been going on under their noses. She seems to have had no friends or family members, indeed nobody registered the fact she had not been seen for a couple of weeks. The childs school did eventually send someone round to knock on the door,  but when there was no answer they went away. No further attempts were made to gain entrance to the flat or to follow up on the initial visit, or to call the police or social services.

How can this happen in a city like London in 2018? Are we so removed from the people we live amongst that we simply fail  to register the every day comings and goings of our neighbours in a street/block of flats? 

I was reminded of that hideous and bizarre story in the news about the American family who kept their thirteen children prisoner in their home for years. The neighbours in  this ordinary mundane area with its family size houses and lawns , obligatory flagpole and those mail boxes you see in Peanuts cartoons said they had absolutely NO idea what was going on behind the net curtains. Apart from one who said that she had indeed seen children in the garden but because they were so pale and thin she assumed they were zombies. So thats ok then. 

I would like to think that our street is very different, mostly because it is a dead end so by its very nature its easier to keep track of who comes and goes and because essentially everyone who lives is here is pretty nosey. And this is a good thing. Even though a lot has changed since we first came to live here and most of the houses have now been turned into flats, meaning that there are more new faces , so its harder to keep track of exactly who lives where, we still maintain a sense of a community,  and if someone disappeared for a while somebody would be knocking on their door before long ( even if it was to complain about their wheelie bin taking up too much space). I also know that if there was an emergency , I could call on anyone in the street for help at any time of day or night and they would come. This is exactly how things should be,  but  it seems we are the exception rather than the rule which is immensely sad. 

I guess there will always be those who keep themselves to themselves,  preferring  their own company, and this is absolutely their right because some people would rather be left alone and it is not easy to intrude on someone’s fierclky guarded space. Inevitably there are people who by their very nature will eventually slip through the cracks, as gradually family and friends withdraw, too busy to stop and chat or call round ,  and there are fewer and fewer people left to notice if the  mail piles up unopened ( in the old days when milk was delivered to your doorstep, uncollected bottles of milk were always a tell tale sign). And  it seems inconceivable that some people simply do not have anyone  in their lives who cares enough to make a phone call or drop in and check all is ok. 

So, keep an eye out for those who live around you. Neighbourhoods would be happier  places if we all look out for each other a little more,  and we all know that a bit of human kindness and interaction can make all the difference.